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Male Chastity Play 101: How to Get into the Keyholder Mindset

Male chastity play is all about taking ownership and control of his penis. The minute you have secured his penis in a chastity device, also known as a penis cage, cock lock, penis lock, or cock cage, it becomes yours as well.

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It’s natural for some people to have difficulty getting into the chastity mindset or being a keyholder, but if you can accomplish this, you will be more open to the allure and delights chastity play.

1. Think of his cock as your toy.
To really get into your role as a keyholder, think of his cock as your toy — he does not own his cock; it just so happens that it’s attached to his body. His penis exists for your own amusement, pleasure, and enjoyment, and no one else’s. You could take it out and lock it in its cage whenever you like.

You need to be able to think this way to get into an effective keyholder mindset and make it easier to play your part during chastity sessions. You are not locking away his cock — you are locking away your toy. This is an immensely potent concept that shows the psychology behind chastity play.

2. Always remember that you are in charge.
Males, particularly those who brought up the idea chastity play in relationships, will usually attempt to push keyholders into situations that they might be capable of fulfilling during the experimentation stage.

When this happens to you, don’t under any circumstances allow your male to push you further than you’re ready and willing to go. It’s perfectly okay if you’re not being used to being a dominant or in charge at first, and this won’t change who you are if you engage in chastity play.

Clearly, you have an interest in playing a more dominant role if you agreed to be a keyholder right? When playing, never let your male top you from the bottom.

In with world of BDSM, this basically means that while it appears that you’re in control or on top, your male is, in reality, manipulating you to do what he wants you to do.

When this happens, this is the perfect time to assert your control. Stand your ground and make him do what you want him to do. Remember that he is your toy.

3. Always respect boundaries.
While the main purpose of chastity play is your male surrendering himself to you completely, this doesn’t necessarily mean that you need to dominate him every minute of every day.

It does mean however that both of you will need to enforce specific boundaries that you should’ve ideally established before you even begin your chastity play sessions — what’s allowed, what’s not allowed, safe words, and so forth.

Male chastity play isn’t really that difficult as you can see from above, but you need to have a firm grasp on all its different aspects as well as the willingness to be an effective keyholder. This way, you ensure that you and your male will always enjoy your sessions.